I did it.

I opened my mouth when I shouldn’t of.  I disrupted flow and created counter-productivity.  I said what I needed to say at the wrong time to the wrong people.  I created the wrong impression.

I am aware of what I have done.  I am acutely aware of it in my body.  Feeling the sensation of guilt, shame, and self-pity arising in my head and heart.

Processing these feelings is hard – especially hard for those of us who have been so conditioned to hard-headedness or denial.  Insecurity shows up in many forms.

This time, I am sitting with it.  Feeling it and asking myself one important question.  What role do I have in this disruption and what can I do to right it?

The answers are becoming more clear:

1) Own it.  Own my portion of it and place no blame on outside sources or other people.  I am responsible for my own actions and nothing else.  This ownership cultivates security.

2) Apologize directly and do not belabor the issue.  There is no need to drag it on.

3) Forgive myself.  There is no need to keep beating myself up.  I am human – filled with strengths and weaknesses – 2 things that are the opposite side of the same coin.

4) Understand that my weaknesses are also a strength when used at the right time.

5) Be honest.  It is the only way to change.

6) Let go of whatever it is I am hanging on to — it was and still is an illusion.

7) Be grateful – Of all the things I have overcome in my past and where I am now.  This releases fear.

8) Do not care what others think of me.  Their judgements of me are only a reflection of themselves.  (Big ONE to remember).

Being a leader often means making mistakes. Owning them and learning from them is part of the process of rising to your higher self and evoloving.

And finally – Dear me, be nice to me.

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